Slow and Steady Wins the Race

I'm one month into my journey and I'm making progress. I haven't had the results I thought I would have but I haven't put in the work I should have put in. I weighed in yesterday and I've lost a total of 6 pounds this month, my initial response was blah! For some strange reason I was expecting Biggest Loser numbers knowing I hadn't put in Biggest Loser work. As always my harvest was a direct result of the seeds I planted the week before. Every candy bar, cookie and potatoe chip I called myself sneeking in, stepped up on that scale with me yesterday and weighed in. The end result is simple; when I cheat on my program, the only person I'm cheating is myself. I have got to keep that logic at the forefront of my mind.

That being said, I am going to have to step my game up. I can start by working out a little harder and exercising more self control and discipline. What I'm not going to do is beat myself up, because 6 pounds lost is so much better than 6 pounds gained. And even if I continue to only lose 6 pounds a month, in 12 months that 72 pounds! And a 72 pound weight loss is a Phabolous Thang!
I've always had the Hare mentality when it comes to dieting and weight loss, setting unrealistic goals and ultimately setting myself up to fail. This time around I plan to adopt a Tortoise conscience; knowing that as long as I keep moving and stay focused the finish line is on the horizon. Slow and steady wins the race and this is my year to WIN!

Inspiration

    As the days roll by, I find myself looking for inspiration around every corner. I know I'm in the fight of my life. However, I am determined to stay focused and driven. My vision board increases daily as I browse through magazines and the internet cutting out pictures and words that lift me. Pictures that inspire me to be a better person.
I know I'm on the right path, simply by all the obstacles that seem to be coming my way. I've always believed that the Devil doesn't bother you when you're standing still, doing nothing. Why should he? You pose no threat. But the minute you get moving and growing he pulls out his bag of tricks. He is determined to keep you from shining, because when you shine you magnify God's GLORY! I plan to be a walking testimony of just how Good GOD is! 

Today my inspiration comes from within. It is my innate ability to rebound. To get up after I've been hit hard and still have the energy to PUSH forward. It is a trait that runs deep within my family. I was born with it, as were all the women in my family. We are fighters. Strong, black, resilient women that are self sufficient, independent and driven. It began with my Grandmother Carrie, and has trickled down from one generation to the next.  A legacy of Phenomenal women, that ask for nothing but have given everything. Women that have fought the good fight and lived to tell about it the next day. These women are apart of who I am...my mother, my aunts, my cousins...we are Major women, doing Major things. I am inspired by the greatest that abounds me. I am excited to stand amongst them and call myself  one of them. Thank you Ladies for being so Phabolously Phenomenal. You make me proud to spell my name W.O.M.E.N. 

Golden

There was a time when curvey girls on the big screen or even on regular television was taboo. Only the sleek and thin divas were cast as leading ladies; leaving the thick sistas to sell cleaning supplies and Kentucky Fried Chicken. But the face of Hollywood is changing and beauty is taking on a whole new look. Could it be casting directors and producers are beginning to realize that the average woman is a size 14 and not a size 2? Perhaps, but I like to believe that fulfigured sistas are kicking in doors and no longer taking no for an answer. 

A prime example of a plus size diva on the rise is actress, comedian, talk show host Mo'Nique. She is truly living a life that is Golden. She is radiant, confident and full of life. Her star is blazing through the sky and the world is gazing at her brilliance.

What is it about Mo'Nique? Well she's always been comfortable in the skin that she's in. From her sexy renditions of Beyonce dance routines on the BET Awards to her recent introduction into Late Night television as the host of the Mo'Nique show; Mo is doing her thang and proving once again that the Only Limitations We Have as Curvey Girls are the One's We Place on Ourselves.

Momentum

27 days into the journey and I'm still pushing. It's been difficult and I've had some very trying days. Days when I wanted to give up and go back to the way things were. But that's what I've always done. Busting out of the gate, running full speed ahead only to lose momentum before I enter the first turn. Allowing those bad habits to creep back in and take me off course. I can not allow that to happen AGAIN! This time I plan to finish the race.

Bad habits are like old friends that pop up unexpectantly. You are excited to see them at first, you embrace them and invite them in to stay a while. BUT it doesn't take long to remember why they are OLD friends and not CURRENT companions. I'm learning to choose my friends wisely this time. I'm getting aquainted with exercise and realizing that we should have been friends a long time ago. I'm warming up to healthy eating habits...I'm surprised by how much we have in common. And I'm rekindling the flames of self love...knowing eventually we will be BFFs. I'm building life long relationships that will sustain me throughout all of life's journeys. Relationships that will encourage my spirit and PUSH me into keeping up the Momentum.

I woke up this morning with a renewed sense of being. I feel empowered and much stronger than I did just days before. I realize that the set backs are simply hurdles that can easily be overcome if I simply PUSH and keep Moving even when my legs hurt and my heart is pounding through my chest. I'm a SPRINTER... training for the big race. I have to stay focused and not allow the crawlers to distract me with their fancy track suits and zero talent. I'm laughing out loud because This is not their race, and God only knows how they made it on to the track. But that's okay I want them to stay. I'm looking forward to waving to them in the stands as I take my Victory Run.

Like a Bolt of Lightening glaring across the sky. I'm ready to Shine. Brilliantly Phabolous.

Sweet Indulgence

There are very few things that compare to the lure of sweet indulgence. Whether it's the soothing, sweet scent of lavender, sprayed generously on egyptian cotton sheets or the warmth of a luxurious bubble bath filled with almond oil. Everyone has answered the call of sweet indulgence.

Over the years I have come to appreciate a variety of products and rituals that some would call indulgence rather than necessity. However I believe I work too hard not to afford myself the things that make me feel good, therefore an occasional indulgence is a necessity. This being said, I must admit that somewhere along the way I stopped doing those things for myself. And I begin to make excuses as to why...like not having enough time or not having enough money. But what it all boils down to is Love....when you love someone you want to please them. You want to do for them the things that make them feel good. So in essence when you love yourself, you do the things that make you feel good. I've got to get back to the business of loving me...taking care of my needs, my desires and my wants. Pampering myself and surrounding myself with the things that make me feel wonderful and appreciated. As a fellow blogger wrote: I've got to learn to celebrate ME! Blow up my own balloons, turn on some music and buy myself something wonderful. My life should be a celebration in itself.

When you surround yourself with phabolous things you feel Phabolous. Again a plush lifestyle is not just for celebrities. And you don't have to spend thousands to look and feel like a Million Bucks! So make an appointment to go to the spa, get your feet and nails done or simply buy yourself some new perfume. Whatever you do, Celebrate you...you deserve it, WE deserve it.

Phabolous Find: Carol's Daughter Groove Bath and Body Oil... Love IT!

Makes your body feel like silk and is very hydrating. Secret...mix it with a little Keri Lotion and you'll fall in love with the feeling. You won't be able to keep your hands off your skin.

Please share some of your Phab finds...Tell us what makes you feel like a Celeb.

Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

It has been said a hundred times over that men are visual creatures, meaning they're initial attraction is solely comprised around the physical. As women we spend millions of dollars trying to satisfy their need to see beauty in us, while we pride ourselves on being seekers of the heart. 
I believe we are all visual creatures, especially women. We oohhh and ahhh at the sight of a beautiful baby, we gush and giggle in the presence of a handsome man, and we are easily persuaded by the offering of a beautiful bouquet of flowers. So why do we make so much fuss when men do it?
I have always found myself drawn to things of beauty. As of late my oohs and ahhs have been directed towards fashion. I have no idea when this fascination came about, because as I've said so many times before I have always thought of myself as a plain Jane when it comes to fashion, hair and make-up. It's always been about comfort for me or has it?
This morning while walking around in my heels I couldn't help but think about how agonizing it must be to walk around in 3 to 4 inch heels day after day for hours at a time. Why would anyone spend their hard earned money on  these pricey little torture chambers ? I soon found myself laughing out loud... was it not my hard earned money that purchased the brillant red, Steve Maddens I was stomping around the living room in? Mind you this was not a recent purchase. I purchased these shoes about 2 years ago knowing I would probably never wear them. Why? Because they were sooo pretty and I could not image leaving the store without them. In fact I have alot of beautiful things that I've purchased just because I was drawn to them. I am a visual creature.
Fashion is all about embellishing the beauty that you already have. If you have a small waist you accent it with a large belt, beautiful legs...short skirts; nice arms...sleeveless tops. It's all about finding the beauty in you and building upon it.  Sometimes you may have to call on some of your sistafriends for a little help.

What I've discoverd in these initial days of my Metamorphoses is that I can find the beauty in others and help them tranform into beauiful butterflies but I have so much trouble finding my own wings. Don't get me wrong I know I'm a pretty girl and I know what my good and bad features are but I am having so much trouble putting together "MY LOOK". So much so, I often find myself throwing my hands to the air screaming WTH! But I refuse to give up.

I had to realize that sometimes it's easier to analize a situation when you're on the outside looking in.  And even though I have been able to spearhead makeovers for others, I may require some assistance with my own transformation. Either way I'm ready to fly and even more I'm ready to "BE FLY and Phabolous"!

The Truth About Weight Watchers

Ahhhh! Saturday mornings...gotta love em! What other time can you sleep until the sun rises, stay in bed watching Paula Deen and the Neeleys, then wonder around to the local IHOP for a bountiful stack of flap jacks! MMmmmm! Grown up indulgence...almost as good as sitting in front of the television in your superhero pajamas, with a mixing bowl of Sugar Smacks, watching Schoolhouse Rocks!
Why oh why then would I opt to spend my Saturday mornings in a church with a bunch of retired housewives discussing weight loss strategies? BINGO would probably be more productive, at least then I could win some money. 
Nevertheless on most Saturdays around 8:30am that's where you'll find me; balancing myself on a scale in a tiny prayer room in the back of  The First Baptist Church of Riverdale. My attitude is normally BLAH, mainly because I'm starving because I haven't eaten since lunch the day before in an effort to counteract all the stuff I shouldn't have eaten the rest of the week. It never works. The only bright side is that it's in a church so I am more cautious about my words when I get my results...I would hate to have to apologize for potty mouth. BUT a + sign usually brings out the worst in me.
 The truth about Weight Watchers is it is more of a social club than a weight loss program. Yes you go there to weigh and monitor your weight, yes they have a structured program for you to follow THAT REALLY WORKS and yes you get to fellowship with other overweight people. BUT no one's really talking about WHY they are so freaking FAT! Just once I would like for someone to stand up and say "Hey my name is Lisa.. (hi Lisa, the group should respond) and I am a chronic snacker! Please help me! That's Never gonna happen...so I rarely stay for the meetings. 
The truth about Weight Watchers is that it works just like any other program. If you follow the program you will loose weight. In fact Weight Watchers is one of the most realistic programs you can follow. There are no prepackaged meals, shakes or cookies to buy and you don't have to give up bread, meat or desserts. You simply eat a certain amount of food each day according to your weight. I've seen great results when I stick to it but somehow I always manage to fall off the wagon and gain the weight back and then some.

So again the question remains in the why....why am I eating? What's eating me so much that it drives me to overeat? Once I figure that out I know the weight will fall off.


  

Confidence

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size

But when I start to tell them,

They think I'm telling lies.

I say,

It's in the reach of my arms

The span of my hips,

The stride of my step,

The curl of my lips.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.

I say,

It's the fire in my eyes,

And the flash of my teeth,

The swing in my waist,

And the joy in my feet.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Men themselves have wondered

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can't touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them

They say they still can't see.

I say,

It's in the arch of my back,

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Now you understand

Just why my head's not bowed.

I don't shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.

When you see me passing

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It's in the click of my heels,

The bend of my hair,

the palm of my hand,

The need of my care,

'Cause I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Maya Angelou

 I have always believed that Confidence and Faith are interchangeable. By definition confidence is the belief in one's powers and abilities and faith is the observance of such. Therefore self-confidence is simply an exercise of Faith in one's talents and gifts.

Few can understand nor match the power of a confident woman. She is powerful beyond measure and splendid without reason. Her presence alone commands respect and attention. She possesses an aura that often out shines the sun. She is phenomenally phabolous and should be held at the hightest esteem!

Piece of Mine!

I was 24 years old when I moved out of my parent's home. I can remember the sense of independence I felt that first night out on my own. Tracing in and out of the rooms of my two bedroom apartment, opening closet doors, looking through empty cabinets, spinning around, smiling and feeling FREE! It was official; I was my own woman. The rules and conditions that governed my living space were no longer my mother's but they were now my own. It was me who would decide who could visit, how long they could stay, how loud I could play my music, how late I could come in, what funiture would go where and even what colors would be splashed up on the walls. Who would have thought that $500.00 a month would bring me so much liberation!

 It was then that I came to appreciate the importance of personal space and the need for sanctuary. It was then that I developed a conscience that has stayed with me and continues to be the driving force behind my hardwork and determination.

"I have Peace of Mind because this Piece Is Mine!" 

Wow! As long as I have a space that I can call my own I can find a place of peace. There is sanctuary and solace in having your own space in this world. A feeling of safety and greatness.

This being said shouldn't your home be a direct reflection of who you are and what you represent? Your Home should rise up to meet you. When you turn the key and open the door you should feel a sense of peace. YOU ARE HOME!

 Over the years I have managed to decorate my home and fill it with pieces of funiture and artwork that say my name, items that announce who I am and how I expect to be treated. I'm pleased with the space I've created for myself and on occassion I find myself tracing in and out of the rooms celebrating my independence.

As I continue to travel along this journey of self improvement I find myself wanting to create a space in my home that will encourage me to be more Phabolous. I want to play dress up! What better place to play than in a GRAND CLOSET! I've decided to convert one of the rooms in my home into a dressing room fit for a queen better yet a diva, a Diva's Den! A room filled with beautiful funiture and pictures that make me want to transform myself. A beautiful vanity where I can sit and adorn myself with my jewelry, perfume and make-up. Racks and shelves that display my clothes, hats, bags and shoes in such a way that makes me feel rich and powerful. Who says you have to be a celebrity in order to live like one? I want Kimora Lee's Closet and I shouldn't have to marry Russell in order to get it!

Whatever amount of space you have make it grand. Fill it with things that make you feel good, things that tell your guest who you are. Don't be afraid to express yourself with vibrant colors and odd artwork. If it makes you smile then that's all that matters. Besides the more intersting your space the more interested your guest will be.

Phabolous women live in Phabolous Places.

The New Face of Phab

In recent years I have begin to pay closer attention to the different trends in fashion and how they play out in everyday living. What I've noticed is that fat and frumpy no longer walk hand in hand. Curvey girls are leading the way down the Runways of modern day fashion.

As I've stated so many times before I have absolutely no desire to be thin. I love my thickness and I have learned to embrace my curves. My journey is about becoming healthier and making sure that my curves are in all the right places. A path I see many of the celebrity Divas choosing....Monique, Latifah and Angie Stone have all managed to slim down without thinning out. Truth be told most of  the leading men in our lives love our curves.

That being said...I love my Plus Size Divas!! No one and I mean one can put it down like a CLASSY SISTA with CURVES. From head to toe....they are putting the UMPH! back into looking good and making it happen. Some say that it is the very thing that makes us different that makes us want to go that extra mile. Some may even agrue that it is necessary in order for us to compete with slim sistas. I say regardless of the reason...nothing pleases me more than seeing a proud Diva with curves all decked out stomping the city streets; commanding attention and making no apologies for being exactly who she is! Phabolous!!

 





                 ~ Stick Note ~
Check out the Phabolous links listed below under "Chic that Fits".  We're no longer limited to 2 or 3 stores for our fashion. These plus size vendors have cute, trendy fashions that really make a statement!

Neglect

First things First, I made it to the gym again this morning! OMG...4:30am and I was at the gym with my sistafriend Tracy, with my plan in hand. And Oh what a plan it is! When I say today was the first time in a very long time that I have worked out that hard without someone behind me pushing me. I am so proud of myself I don't know what to do.
 I was fully focused on my work out but as always my mind begin to ramble. I was simply thinking about the day ahead and all that needed to be done to make it somewhat of a success.
That's when I had an EPIPHANY! When you are slothful in one area of your life, nine times out of ten you are slothful in other areas of life. Now just think about it for a minute, take a quick inventory of your stuff and your situation....Don't worry I'll wait.

Now who among us is brave enough to admit that there are several things out of order in our lives. I know I AM! Not only have I neglected my health and physical well being but my finances are out of order. And I have some work that needs to be done with my business and my home. From the outside looking in, everything is fine but I know and that's enough!
It's funny how neglect or lack of focus can spill over and filter into every area of your life. But I realize that as my health went so did my energy. And once your energy begins to fade, it's all down hill from there. I have lost so many hours of vaulable time to idleness. Doing nothing...sitting in front of the television watching mindless tv shows or sitting on the telephone having fruitless conversations with people stuck in the same idle state I am in. WHAT IS THAT?!
I pray and thank God each and everyday for Clarity! Because clearly the Driven and Successful men and women I admire are not slothful and have little if any idle time on their hands. That is WHY they have achieved the level of success that they have. They are always on the move, working hard to make LIFE happen. No Excuses!
Going forward I plan to fill my days with Work...working on me and my well being. Working on my home and my business. Working on my Dreams and my talents. Working on my relationships with my family and friends. Working on LIFE! Putting in what I want to get out!

The Epiphany is simple: Life is a field of dreams...you cannot plant your seeds and walk away. You must Work that field....water, plow, nourish, watch over and sometimes even guard your field until.... until Forever. Harvest time comes again and again for those who continue to WORK! How Phab is that! You get out what you put in and Success is the Fruit of your LABOR!

Work It Out

Confession...Today was the first time this year I've been to the gym! Up until today I have been making excuses and totally avoiding developing a workout program. But enough is enough; so yesterday I purchased a pair of sneakers $20.00 (so what was the hold up on that) and made a mental commitment to wake up this morning and go.

So at 8:00am I was walking on the treadmill with my lips poked out, sulking and mad. Sulking because my leg was hurting and mad because I can not believe how out of shape I've allowed myself to get. 38 years old and 15 minutes into walking I was ready to quit! But I kept pushing and eventually fell into a stride and was able to do 30 minutes....Wooooshh! I stayed an additional hour working out on the different weight machines and even managed to do a little floor work (abs and legs).

It was during this time that my inspiration walked through the door. She was a tiny little fire ball, excited about working out and even more excited about living. At first glance it was easy to see that she was strong, fit, flexible and extremely healthy. But it was her spirit that impressed me the most. She immediately introduced herself and asked me for a hug in the name of the Lord. Now I must admit I was a little taken aback by this display of unsolicited affection from a virtual stranger. Nevertheless I complied and quickly begin to reap the benefits of my newly formed acquaintance.

For the remainder of my stay my new friend encouraged and rooted me on. "You can do it Lisa...come on Lovely Lisa", she cheered. "God wants you to be healthy and fit....He'll make a way!" I later found out that this woman with the body of a 30 year old was 66 years old! Wow!

 It was this chance encounter that inspired me and lead me to speak with the gym's owner about developing a workout program to help me meet my fitness goals. I was prepared to pay just about anything to get the results I wanted, as fate would have it; he did it for free. Once again I have been given a map, a written plan. All I have to do is follow it!

Makes me wonder was I really putting off going to the gym or did I go on precisely the right day, at the right time so I could recieve exactly what I needed for my journey.

Who is REALLY going to Pray For Haiti?

It's hard to escape the images of despair and mayhem that plague the news about the devastation in Haiti. It's even harder to ignore the faces of the people...faces that look just like mine. I ask myself why? Why once again are the eyes staring back at me so similar to my own? Why are my people suffering once again?

 The limbs of the bodies pertruding from the concret, the bandaged heads, the exposed skin of the unclothed babies that wonder the streets they all share my same hue. Why? Why are my people suffering once again and who is Really going to Pray for them? Before the earthquake who even knew they existed.
I guess it's my own humanity (or lack there of) tugging at my heart strings. Because I know there was devastation in Haiti long before the earthquake. Devastation and poverty that most of us ignored. So who among us is Really going to pray for Haiti and her people? How many of us have sat in front of the television and watched in horror at the images being displayed, moved to tears but not to action? How many of our wallets have opened, producing credit cards and check books ready to aid and assist?
 We can rant and rave all day about what the government should and should not be doing. But what is most evident to me is that most of the faces of the thousands rushing to assist, those faces look nothing like mine. Why are we not answering the call? Why are we not aiding our own? And please let us not blame it on the media; protesting that for some reason they refuse to show the black volunteers? We should be there in legions..so many of us that our presence is undeniable. This is why I pose the question who is Really going to pray for Haiti? If you have been moved to prayer, then you will surely be moved to action. Is it not true that a  praying man is moved to perform works and deeds that resemble those of the Lord?
I am so guilty of not praying, not moving, not assisting; turning a blind eye not only to Haiti but to New Orleans, Rhwanda, South Africa and the list goes own. Putting up a fuss because no one else answered the call....a call that was meant for me.
Today I challenge myself as well as all of you to Really pray for Haiti and then MOVE, Give, Assist....Answer her call.

Giving is the most Phabolous thing you can ever do!

Socially Inviting

If New York is the "City That Never Sleeps" then Atlanta is the "The City That Is Always Vibing". There is always something to do in the ATL, from sunrise til sunset the streets of Atlanta are alive and jumping. Why then am I such a home body? Why is curling up with a good book or renting a few movies from Blockbuster more appealing to me than venturing out and becoming an active member of the buzzing social scene in my beautiful city?

Now I've always been outgoing and friendly. I love meeting new people and I have been known to spark up a conversation with just about anyone BUT when it comes to the nightlife and social call of the Big City, I have been missing in action.
Going forward however I plan to take full advantage of all that Atlanta has to offer. The awesome eateries, the concerts in the park, the laid back lounges, the eclectic culture events and the fun for all playdates. My city is bursting at the seams with things to do, places to be and phabolous new people to meet.
Objective: To go from Social Sleeper to Social Seeker. For the remainder of the year my sista friends and I have vowed to plan one to two outtings a month which involve going somewhere we've never been and experiencing something we have yet to experience in this Phabolous city of ours. I encourage you and your girlfriends to do the same.

Home is where the heart is but the city streets are where the heart truly beats. So fly Social Butterflies, spread your wings and show off your Phabolous colors.

                                  

                                  ~ Sticky Note ~

I'll be sure to keep you posted on our upcoming outtings and other social events and hot spots in Atlanta. Who knows perhaps we can meet up and be Socially Inviting together. Remember even a long life is short if you're not making the most of it.

BAG LADY

I know I've written alot about letting go of unneccessary baggage from the past. Letting go of issues and people that I feel have been weighing me down and packing light for the journey ahead. Lately I find myself singing Erykah Badu's 2007 anthem BAG LADY.

Bag lady you gone hurt your back

Dragging all them bags like that

I guess nobody ever told you

All you must hold on to

Is you, is you, is you

One day all them bags gone get in your way...

Love that song but as I was singing it last night standing in the mirror admiring a wonderful new handbag my mother brought me for my birthday I realized there are some BAGS that are essential on my journey to becoming PHABOLOUS! So I'm going to switch my tune for a while because "Mama's Got A Brand New Bag!"
A brand new bag indeed. And she is soft, subtle, sleek and trendy. What a girl wants and definitely what a girl needs. Up until recently I have been a Coach girl. I've always had to have a nice Coach purse on my arm, but designers are making it hard for a girl to be faithful. Marc Jacob, Jimmy Choo, even Guess are throwing out handbags that are to die for. Phabolous! Phabolous! Phabolous!

Just like a great pair of shoes, a great handbag can totally change your look. Nothings worst than finishing off a great outfit with a bag that just says BLAH!!!
Now I know with today's economy very few of us are able to pay hundreds of dollars for a purse. But I've done a little research and found a couple of ways to make it happen without breaking the bank.
First and foremost you have to be down for the hunt, this may include a little traveling and a whole lot of browsing, but your local discount stores like Marshalls, TJMaxx and Khol's carry some of the best bags for fractions of the original cost. So gather some of your sistafriends, load up the car and get to hunting!
For those of you that prefer to shop from home there are several online companies that offer HUGE discounts on designer bags; so great style is just a click away: Bluefly.com, Bagbliss.com, Hautelook.com, and Hangbagcrew.com are just a few of the companies I've found. Now here's the WTH of it all....there's actually a company that allows you to rent REAL Designer Bags...like Louis Vuitton, Chanel, and Gucci! I'd heard mention of this company before and even remember Jennifer Hudson's character in the "Sex In The City" movie saying she got her bag from there but never in a million years did I think this was possible! Gotta love it! Bagborroworsteal.com. The best....gives a whole new meaning to "Faking it until you Make IT!

Regardless of how and where you get your bag, make sure it's Phabolous! Great fashion not only looks good...it feels good!

Falling In Love Again

He completes me.... What exactly does that mean? Shouldn't you already be complete within yourself? He's my better half.... If he is then that means you're half of the person you should be and the half that you are isn't even worth talking about if he is the better part of you. Shouldn't you already be whole or at least possess the better part of who you are?
I've been looking for love in all the wrong places, searching for love... Trying desperately to fill a void within myself with the conditional emotions and sentiments of another. Searching for that euphoric feeling that comes in the beginning of a relationship when love is new. But how can I expect anyone to love me in a way that I have yet to love myself. The love I have for myself is conditional and ever changing. Why is it so difficult to love yourself at your lowest point? Isn't that when you should love yourself the most?

I am looking for love once again but this time I'm looking within. Trying to rekindle a love that was lost, trying to ignite a flame that should have never flickered away. Who knows me better than me? Only I know my deepest secrets; my most heartfelt desires. I am the keeper of my most cherished dreams. I should be my most intimate lover, my bestfriend, my most treasured confidant. I should Always be in love with me. I should always have a burning desire to secure my happiness. I should never miss an opportunity to whisper to myself "I love you!" I should bring a smile to my own face when I think about me. When was the last time I cooked a candlelight dinner for myself, drew myself a bubble bath surrounded by candles, brought myself a card just because, or sent myself a dozen roses. I want to fall in love again but this time I want to fall in love with me.

What a Phabolous Love Affair it Will be!!!

Finding Phab

Over the years I've tried to develop my own sense of style. I've come to realize that instead of developing style, I've settled on easy, accessible comfort. Two piece ensembles that lack the flair and jazziness that I admire in a well put together woman. I've mastered the art of looking nice and well groomed but I want to find that niche that will take my style to the next level and allow me to be the one that stands out in a crowd.

If I had to decribe my style in two words I would say, classic and boring. A standard outfit for me consist of one top, one bottom, a couple pieces of ordinary jewelry, some flats and a basic handbag (usually a coach) ZZzzzzz....BORING!!! Nothing spectacular or eye catching, just simple.

So how do I develop my own sense of Phab? Shouldn't my attire be an outwardly reflection of who I am? Whether you're funky and eclectic or brassy and bold...your image is like the cover of your novel. If the cover is boring, who cares what's on the inside. The boring books spend most of their time on the shelf collecting dust only to live out their final days in the bargain bin at the back of the store. How do I dust off my boring look and become more inviting.
My goal is to become a Great Read from cover to cover. Adorning myself with the fashionable bangles, bracelets and earrings I adore. Becoming as bold, funky and eclectic on the outside as I feel on the inside. Unafraid to throw on a big belt, a colorful scraf, some outrageous heels or a trendy hangbag.

Today I want your feedback....To all my Die Heart Phabolous Divas out there (and you know who you are)... How can I find my way in the world of PHAB!

Planning To Succeed

"When You Fail to Plan, You Plan to Fail"

My entire journey is dependent upon how well I adhere to this one simple quote. If I fail to plan, I might as well surrender to defeat. I am so guilty of not having a plan. I can plan for everything in Life but I have so much trouble planning for Life. Seems crazy when you really think about it. I am the type of person that will mapquest directions a week before I have to be to a particular place; yet I don't know what I am going to eat from one meal to the next. I can plan a Phabolous party, organize closets, and form associations but for the life of me can not sit down and put together a workout plan and follow it through. But that vicious cycle of setting myself up to fail ends today.

I'm pulling out my Vision Board! Yes pulling it out because I had hid it, tucked it away in the back of a closet because the old me allowed a man to come in and scructinize my dreams and tell me they were impossible. The old me believed him and foolishly put my dreams on the back burner to help him persue his. But as many of you already know he is gone and has been replaced by HIM! OH JOY! JOY! JOY! And HE is not afraid of my Success!!! He encourages it, welcomes it and enables me to have it....Oh JOY! JOY! JOY! Don't get me started!

I spent most of the night cutting out pictures and words, anything that has to do with my transition, my success and my journey. When it was all said and done I realized I was going to have purchase a couple more Vision Boards. Perhaps I'll do one for every room in my house. Every clear surface needs to be covered with my vision. Every mirror, every desk top, even the dashboard of my car....whatever it takes. I plan to surround myself with images of my vision. The only difference this time is that Beside each Vision Board there will be a list of Objectives. A To Do List of things that need to be accomplished TODAY, THIS WEEK, THIS MONTH! Who do I need to call or see in order to set things into motion? What to I need to do or undo to get the ball rolling? WRITE IT DOWN, DO IT , CHECK IT OFF AND THEN REPLACE IT with something else that needs to be done in order for my Dreams to come into fruition. If HE is doing His part and He is (always has), I have to do my part.

To Do List

 1. Complete Vision Boards & List of Objectives     

2. Call Clayton State to check on enrollment status 

3. Purchase a new pair of gym shoes                       

       4. Spend at least an hour every day completing my book

5....                                                                          

Don't mind me...I'm just Planning to Succeed! I encourage all of you to do the same. Caution! Beware of Dream Seekers. They come in many different shapes and forms (friends, spouses, sisters etc.). Don't allow their negativity to detour your journey and keep you from your dreams. Remember everyone isn't meant for this journey. Some people will have to be left behind, You just Keep Moving!

Still Floating

If you read my blog yesterday..Oh JOY! You know I was extremely excited, some would say on fire! I was having a true Hallelujah moment.I was floating, filled with overwhelming joy about the things that were transpiring in my life. Well I'm still floating; floating off what I know is to come. Floating off the anticipation of my own success.
I had a wonderful day yesterday. I celebrated my 38th birthday with 5 phenomenal women whom I love and adore. Women whose energy and spirits I plan to pull from for the next 355 days and hopefully the rest of my life.

My mother Pamula, who is one of the strongest women I know. She is regal, hard working, independent and self sufficient. She'll give you the shirt off her back if you ask for it but never ever cross her because she is a Lioness and has been known to pounce.

My Aunt EJ, who is a jewelry box of personality; funky and vibrant. So full of life and laughter.There is never a dull moment when she's around.

My cousin Kay. In a word, Diva! She's one of those phabolous divas I am always talking about. Well put together, stylish, sassy with heels for days.

My dear friend Tracy, who's more like a sister. She's a capricorn like myself; very reserved, laid back, but very observant. Always a step ahead. She makes me laugh til I pee and let's me cry, scream and vent when I need to. And she never judges me.

Lastly but certainly not least there's Miss Toura. Toura is an eclectic ball of energy. She is on the move and making things happen. I love sharing space with this woman. She makes me wanna get up and get moving.

These are my sista friends, my companions on this journey. I know they will make the road ahead much less bumpy and if need be they will push, pull and yes even carry me to my destination. They are my Ride or Die Divas. I encourage every woman to have at least 2 on her team.

OH JOY!

I wouldn't trade a thing for my journey thus far! Today marks the beginning of my 38th year of life! Happy Birthday to me!
I am so excited about entering this phase in my life. For the first time in a long time I have clarity and direction. Yesterday was a day filled with joy and possibilities. When I tell you doors of opportunity were opening left and right. They were opening! My head was spinning from all the shifting. JOY! JOY! JOY! I'm standing on the Ledge of Life prepared to JUMP....knowing full well my wings are prepared to lift me. I am ready to FLY!

Again I tell you I wouldn't trade nothing for my journey thus far. I know I could not fully understand or

appreciate the changes that are about to occur in my life had it not been for the things I've been through thus far. HE is moving at such a rapid pace...I have got to lose weight so I can be fit enough to keep up with HIM. HIS vision is so Much BIGGER than mine. I'm just going to move my behind out of HIS way and watch HIM work. JOY! JOY! JOY! I feel like dancing...now I know how David felt.

I have a plan... a plausible plan. A map I can understand and follow. Clarity that has been here all along, I just had to open myself up to receive it. How awesome is that? How Phabolous is that? To ask and it be given. It could not be this easy! All I have to do is follow it through, be diligent, driven and focused. My good and faithful passengers are steady jumping on board, and we are ready to roll. I promise you if you are reading this blog right now 2010 is the year. It is OUR year. Things are going to move and change in our lives. All we have to do is put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. When the journey gets hard, and it will...keep moving. When some of your passengers decide to jump ship and they will....keep moving. When life throws up detours...buckle up, bear down and Keep moving!

Don't you wanna know how good it feels? Don't you wanna celebrate with me? I know I want to know! I want to experience it all! The weight loss, the book signing, the overflowing bank account, the thriving businesses, the incredible love and support of family and friends. I want it ALL! Talk about the Audacity of Hope... Come on Now! We Got this! Our Season has Arrived! This is Truly OUR MOMENT! Everything around us is changing and moving. JOY! JOY! JOY!

Take a Moment to look at the Success of others (Oprah, Tyler Perry, President Obama): Know that it is not their Will that is greater, it is their Desire to Change. It is their DRIVE. The Creator is just, Everything He has given to them, He has given to us. All we have to do is USE what we have been given. Our talents, our gifts, our WILL. In 2010 I promise to WILL myself into greatness.

HAPPY REBIRTH DAY TO ME!

Today I'm going to go somewhere I've never been, talk to someone I've never met and buy myself something I've always wanted. Today WILL be a PHABOLOUS DAY! Happy REBIRTH DAY to ME!

SHED

Ahhhhh!!!! The journey has begun. My destination is in sight and for the first time in a long time I am hopeful. I can do this! This time last week (New Year's Day), I woke with a heavy heart, barely able to control my grief. The change I prayed for the night before was causing me great discomfort. My life was beginning to shift and I was being forced to adjust.

God is grooming me. January 1, he stripped me down and made me stand in the mirror and really look at myself and my life. Then the questions came. Who are you? I don't know anymore. Are you happy? No! What are you going to do about it? PRAY, FIGHT, CHANGE!

Then came the tears, and they fell until there were no more. It was a cleansing of my soul and I felt weak but somehow stronger. Strong enough to let go. Let go of a bad relationship that I had been holding on to for far too long, 50lbs. Strong enough to admit I needed to ask my friends and family for help, 25lbs. Strong enough to forgive myself and everyone and everything I believe brought me to this point; forgive, walk away and move forward 75lbs. The weight of unhappiness and unfulfillment has been weighing me down. Causing me to overeat and under live. As I continue to forge ahead on my journey, I plan to shed not only the physical weight that plaques my body but the mental weight that plaques my mind and my spirit.

You see I prayed for a Phabolous Life....360 degrees of complete happiness, Bliss. I don't want to simply look Phabolous, I want to be Phabolous. Beginning with a Phabolous relationship with God. I want to walk in my purpose and discover a phabolous new career. I want to fall in love...with me and carry on a life long love affair with myself. I want to love myself to health. I want to live a life that will be remembered long after I am gone, a life that even others will regard as Phabolous!

Living Your Best Life

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a huge Oprah fan. I love that woman! Her journey from Chicago News Anchor to Talk Show Icon is inspiring and is the epitome of a Rags to Riches story. She is the true personification of a Phabolous Diva!

The Oprah Winfrey show has been the catalyst for many Ah Ha! Moments in my life, but the greatest of Ah Ha's has become a reoccuring theme on the show. Oprah never misses the opportunity to encourage, enable and support her guests and viewers into "Living Their Best Lives."

What does it mean to live your best life? Is it about obtaining the "American Dream": a spouse, 2 kids, a dog, a home in the suburbs and a stable position on the corporate ladder? I don't think so. I sold into that dream in my 20's and early 30's, believing that the acquisition of such would equate to happiness. But for many all it seems to equate to is stress and a lot of Dreams Deferred.

On January 9th I will be celebrating my 38th year of life, I can honestly say I JUST figured out WHO I AM and WHO I WANT TO BE. I am an entrepreneur, a teacher, a homeowner, a friend, a daughter, a sister and host of other things. BUT Who I am and Who I want to be are not aligned. I have had a good life thus far but I have yet to Live My Best Life. Mainly because I am not walking and living in my Purpose. I gave up persuing my Dreams and started chasing the "American Dream", how unphabolous is that?
The deepest and most poignant part of my journey is finding my way again, reintroducing myself to that 20 year old girl who knew who and what she wanted to be when she grew up. I realize that finding her may mean giving up some of the things and People I've acquired along the way. Which is scary in itself, but neccessary. Everyone isn't meant to be a companion on my journey to greatness, they're not fit for the ride and will only slow me down and hold me back. So I've decided to pack light, taking only the neccessities. I plan to live the rest of my life as if I were that 20 year old girl. Starting over, pushing forward, making decisions that best suit me. Living MY Best Life! No co-pilots allowed, only passengers.