She Needs A Spanxing

I have a confession...I have been out of order and sited for being in violation of a critical dress code:
"Every wardrobe must be Built Upon a Strong Foundation; Undergarments that Smooth, Support and Hold."

 I am so ashamed! SMH. I have always been an advocate for a good bra but have strayed away from the beckoning calls of girdles and spanx. Why? I hate to feel confined. Shame on me;  confinement is a small price to pay to hide the sins of age and gravity.
It seems that even skinny women can appreciate the value of a good body shaper. So I guess I need a Spanxing! Again I have always believed in investing in a good quality bra. And because I have been so heavily blessed I make it a point of getting properly fitted for my bras, spending as much as $50.00 for just one. To some this may seem a bit expensive but in my opinion you can not put a price on the unkeep of the 'Girls'.  There is nothing worst or more damaging than breast that hang low. Not a good look at all, regardless of the size.
Now as far as girdles or what I like to call under armor are concerned, I have never been  a fan. One, as I mentioned before I always feel so confined and restricted when wearing these garments and two which is the most important factor for me, it takes a minute to get out of these things and I don't have the strongest bladder in the world. WTH! I have always said I'd rather jiggle in my clothes than sprinkle on them. I know TMI (too much information). But as we all know it only takes a drop to ruin your entire day....been there done that. LOL 
Regardless of my reasons, it seems I need to get over it as my cousin Kay would say. Spanx are an essential part of a true Phat and Phabolous diva's wardrobe. She will not leave home without them. Whether she's rocking a sexy form fitting dress, some sleek leggings or a trendy jogging suit, spanx are MUST WEAR!! So it seems I have no choice but to invest in some fat stabilizers. This being established I've done some investigating and I find myself gravitating towards spanx. They come in wide variety of styles, sizes and colors. They appear to be less restricting and just as effective. Girdles are a bit much for me and body magic....WTH, can we say torture chamber. You might as well wear a corset, how Medieval. So unless anyone can suggest something more effective and less confining I'm going with spanx. Wow....all in the name of Phab. Again "To Thy Ownself Be True". You know who you are... only jello is meant to jiggle.