21 DAYS

I have issues with food. If I am to be completely honest with myself, I've always had issues with food and I'm sure I always will to some degree. It is the way I cope with the Ups and Downs of life. When I'm sad, I eat. When I'm depressed, I eat. When I'm angry, pissed, happy, in or out of love, I eat. I am an emotional eater and since I am always filled with some form of emotion, I am always looking for something good to eat.

The messed up part about being a food addict is that unlike the drug addict or the alcoholic, food MUST be a daily part of my life. I cannot simply go through a 12 step program, turn my back on food and walk away. A food addict has to face their demons daily. And until you've stood in front of the refrigerator at 2 in the morning trying to decide between pancakes or potato salad, only to end up eating both; you cannot imagine how hard it is for a food addict to lose weight.

That being said, I am struggling right now. I am trying SO VERY hard to wrap my head around this whole diet and exercise thing and it is literally kicking my ass. Truthfully, every day I start out on my program. Some days are better than others. Then there are those days that are JUST the WORST. The mornings start off pretty good but then around lunch time, after the day has become frustrating because the phone has been ringing off the hook, my students are running around not listening and I've fallen behind schedule...All I want is something sweet and delightful to calm my nerves. I need a HIT! WTH! It's so weird because I know exactly when I'm beginning to crash. I start this internal dialogue with myself. Trying to justify whatever I've set my sights on eating. "I can start over fresh in the morning" or "I can just work out extra hard in the morning". But what it all boils down to is that once again I've relinquised control. I've given something that has absolutely NO Power... Power and Control over me. HELP!

Being that I am dealing with an Addiction, I feel the need to take extreme measures. If it were up to me I would love to be locked in a room and made to shake and sweat for about 60 days, like Pookie on New Jack City. But since I know that's not about to happen and I know that I cannot cut out food completely; I feel I should at least cut out my trigger foods.
My Pastor once said that if you do something consistantly for 21 days it becomes habit and can then easily be continued. So I plan to give up sugar, bread, starch and all the other WHITES for 21 days. I also plan to workout for 21 days straight without break, Yes even on Saturday and Sunday. Extreme...please not as extreme as eating yourself to death. It surely isn't nearly as extreme as having a stroke because of high blood pressure or losing a limb because of diabetes. This is my life I'm talking about, extreme is all I have left. Wish me LUCK!